How do you respond to politics at work?

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How do you respond to political plotting? It may not be easy but it is necessary to contribute to more positive workplaces! And it’s something you can do, regardless of your role. Every interaction makes a difference. Again, it’s important to acknowledge the others’ underlying need. It might be a need to bond with an ally or the need to …

How do you respond to gossip?

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How do you feel when someone gossips or complains about someone else? It depends, of course. It can be great to agree because it creates a feeling of bonding. “The two of us agree and it’s us against that person or that issue”. It can be such a relief to vent. But it may not be what you’d like to …

How to address monsters in meta?

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In this post, let’s take a look at how you could address “monsters in the room” and use “meta-communication” that addresses the how and why. First, it’s crucial to check your attitude: Am I treating the other as a person? Next, you could ask yourself: What do I want for myself, the other, and the relationship? Are you entrenched within …

Is it safe or are there monsters?

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I simply love the Crucial Conversations book that covers how to have any conversation and respond to any reaction, while you stay true to yourself and enhance safety and respect in the relationship. Conversations are often difficult when stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong. Most people avoid them or don’t handle them well, resulting in the silence …

Are you congruent?

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In every interaction there are three levels that influence its effect and meaning: What – the content; the words I say How – the process; how I say it (nonverbal communication) Why – the intention; the meaning, what I am trying to accomplish with this interaction. We tend to focus on What people say and are less aware of the …

Do you engage in drama?

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A well-known example of Ego-interaction is the “drama triangle”, described by psychologist Stephen Karpman. One of your self-justifying narratives could be the prosecutor, the victim, or the rescuer. The Victim’s stance is “Poor me!” He feels oppressed, helpless, hopeless, ashamed, and can’t make decisions, solve problems, etc. The Victim always finds a Persecutor and a Rescuer – who both perpetuate …

How do I relate to others?

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How do you relate to others? When you look at situations the blind spot is yourself. As you are the source of attention, looking outward, it is not easy to “turn back the camera” and see yourself as part of the situation. Here lies an explanation for self-deception. You may conclude: the others are the problem, not you. Self-deception is …

What is your vulnerability?

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Brené Brown explains that until she dealt with shame and fear, she wore different suits of armor that kept her from becoming too vulnerable. She kept people at a safe distance and always had an exit strategy – especially in our culture of cynics and critics. But when you armor yourself – you cut yourself off from others and from …

What is your Purpose?

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You might have an idea of your big Why, your drive or purpose. What is the legacy you would like to leave? What is your contribution that you love to give, your strengths, values, and criteria? So, what is your purpose? Next, write down your vision and mission statement: an intention of who you want to be and how you …

How well do you know yourself?

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Research shows that you deliver your greatest contribution if you know yourself well and use your strengths and work according to your values. Here are some exercises and questions to use. The Best Possible Self (BPS) exercise asks you to envision yourself in an imaginary future while everything turned out in the best possible way. Writing and imagining a BPS …

The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work

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The British philosopher Alain de Botton could have been a novelist or a journalist. He writes poetically and observant about work. He paints an epic picture of our global economy and modern lifestyles, as if he were an eagle hovering over industrial landscapes, modern buildings, big cities, and then, suddenly, zooming in on an office and joining one of the …