Brené Brown’s research showed that we have a shame-prone culture. Shame is the fear of not being worthy of belonging. Many suffer from shame – the fear of not being good enough. Shame also leads to blaming others as a way out of feeling this awful emotion.
The remedy is to become shame-resilient and especially leaders should “dare greatly” and show up authentic and vulnerable at work – to be the change they want to see.
However, in spite of our good intentions, many of us cannot be vulnerable just like that. If you haven’t done your inner homework it probably feels too scary to show up authentically. You can’t fake this.
The Core Wounds
Basically, there are five “core wounds” that people may suffer from – based on early experiences. They align with Maslow’s pyramid of needs and when one of these core needs wasn’t (sufficiently) satisfied for the vulnerable, dependent child – a scar, sensitivity or wound ensued.
Of course, you don’t have to be scarred from your socialization. But if you find yourself stuck, or defensive, closed-off, too scared, perfectionist, critical, angry, disappointed, depressed, or repeating the same patterns time and again – you might want to check the limiting beliefs below and find yourself a coach, counselor or personal development course.
I am in danger (fear about survival).
I am not having enough (fear of scarcity).
I am alone and they left me (fear of abandonment).
I am not acknowledged and not good enough or worthless (fear of humiliation, and shame!).
I am meaningless, and the world doesn’t make sense either (fear of absurdity).
Most of us have some scratches inside. These “hurts or hinders” don’t have to jeopardize your life and work but it’s wise to be aware. Sometimes they block too much energy, as you will protect yourself and close off instead of opening up to people and positive possibilities. You cannot develop a positive culture if you cannot sufficiently open up. You cannot realize your full potential if you don’t show up as who you are.
* Which of the above core wounds sounds true for you? Which would you wish away if you had a magic wand? How can you work with that one? Who or what could help you?
This is book post #41 – ME
Copyright © Marcella Bremer 2017. All rights reserved.
Leaders, employees, consultants, citizens – everyone can make a positive difference from any position, without needing permission or resources from others. This blog will help you see positive possibilities and (re)claim your positive agency. Unstuck yourself and engage others via your interaction and actions. Transform into a positive organization where people and performance thrive.
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