A well-known example of Ego-interaction is the “drama triangle”, described by psychologist Stephen Karpman. One of your self-justifying narratives could be the prosecutor, the victim, or the rescuer.
The Victim’s stance is “Poor me!” He feels oppressed, helpless, hopeless, ashamed, and can’t make decisions, solve problems, etc. The Victim always finds a Persecutor and a Rescuer – who both perpetuate his negative feelings and justify how he feels.
The Drama Triangle
The Rescuer’s line is “Let me help you.” He feels guilty if he doesn’t come to the rescue. Yet, this keeps the Victim dependent and ready to fail. The reward is that the focus is taken off of the rescuer and he can avoid his problems while feeling useful, important and justified.
The Persecutor accuses: ”It’s all your fault.” He is controlling, blaming, critical, oppressive, angry, authoritative, rigid, and superior.
Which of these roles do you prefer..? Most people have a role with which they most identify but once the triangle starts, the participants rotate through all the positions: blaming and shaming, helping and comforting, and suffering while rejecting ownership and accountability.
* Do you recognize the drama triangle in any of your present or past interactions – if you are honest? Do you see it in your group or organization?Do you recognize the drama triangle in any of your present or past interactions? Click To Tweet
What is constructive is to be able to look at yourself, and to acknowledge your part in keeping a dysfunctional situation alive.
If you identify with your wise, best Self – what would you do? If you were an observer, what would you advise the participants?
What to do about this? In the book, I’ll share exercises and advice. For now, blog readers: it might help to become aware of this interaction pattern.
This is book post #47 – ME
Copyright © Marcella Bremer 2017. All rights reserved.
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